A Complete and uderly pointless story!
by OnlyHawkeye4Hotlips
Summary: This is a story that has nothing to do with anything, it's just a story i wrote when i was MAJORLY bored!
1. Behold! A pointless story!

Disclaimer: ~to the tune of the can-can~ I I do not own any of M*A*S*H M*A*S*H if I did I'd have a bash, bash but I doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon't so so please oh please don't sue sue, I've done nothing to you you please enjoy the shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhowwww!  
  
OH4H: this is a short play kinda thing that I thought up! HP:hawkeye,CP:colonel potter, ect..  
  
Narrator: It was another long day in Korea, Radar scurried about busily.  
  
R:~looks to camera~Choppers!  
  
N: hey that's not in the story!  
  
R: read ahead miss writer mam!  
  
N: all of a sudden choppers broke the silence.  
  
R:~running out~ Told ya!  
  
N: smart alec! Anyhow, the doctors and nurses were in for a long shift. Colonel Potter, BJ Honeycutt, Hawkeye pierce and Ferret Face were working away.  
  
F: HEY! How come those two get introduced properly and I don't?  
  
N: Because you're a sniveling little ferret faced idiot who I don't like.  
  
MH: How dare you insult the major that way!  
  
N: Quiet or I'll make you marry him instead of Hawkeye!  
  
MH: AHHHH no!  
  
HP: Margaret! ~grins cheekily~  
  
F: Margaret, you don't love Pierce do you?  
  
N: Margaret would never tell anyone, she had too many walls built up, but deep down she was madly in love with Hawkeye.  
  
F: You're lying!  
  
N: Am not!  
  
F: Are too! Margaret do you love Pierce?  
  
HP: Hey I love Margaret, why can't she love me?  
  
M: Oh Hawkeye I love you too!  
  
N: See Frank?  
  
F:~turns to camera~ this is all your fault!  
  
N: My fault?! I'll take the credit, but not the fault!  
  
F: You.you.dumb dumb!  
  
HP: Oooo nice one Frank!  
  
BJ: Did that hurt miss writer? ~chuckles~  
  
N: Nope, but this will! All of a sudden and for no apparent reason, the wounded became magically healed and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. As Margaret flew into Hawkeye's arms and Colonel Potter and BJ whatched happily, Frank suddenly flew up in the air and landed flat on his big fat butt!  
  
F: HEY!  
  
N: Don't mess with more intelligent people!  
  
HP: In that case Frank isn't allowed to mess with anyone! ~everyone laughs~  
  
F: humph! ~Storms off never to be seen again till Margaret and Hawkeye get married~  
  
MH&HP: Married?!  
  
N: Not till later stories.  
  
MH&HP: phew!  
  
N: And they all lived happily ever after, except Frank who joined forces with colonel Flagg and are now on a mission to escape the mental ward. Don't you just love this ending?  
  
Everyone: YUP! 


	2. Behold! Continued pointless story!

OH4H: I'm back! Here's a little more to my pointless story!  
  
N: Hawkeye and Margaret were sitting in the Officer's club discussing the latest news on Frank and Colonel Flagg.  
  
MH: I thought you said in the last story that frank wasn't coming back till we were married.  
  
N: Meh, I lied. Frank and Flagg had finally managed to escape the mental ward and everyone was worried. Suddenly the PA blared:  
  
PA: ATTNETION ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL INCOMING FLAGG AND FRANK!  
  
HP: ~rolls eyes~ great just what we need!  
  
N: I thought so! Frank and Flagg stormed into the Officer's club.  
  
FB: ~looks to camera~ ah ha so we meet again!  
  
N: Hi Ferret Face!  
  
CF: Where's the communist Burns?  
  
N: Frank had told Flagg that Hawkeye was a communist so that he would help Frank escape and destroy Hawkeye.  
  
FB: Hey no fair, you're ruining my plan!  
  
N: So?  
  
FB: Stop it!  
  
N: NO! While the Frank and I argued Hawkeye and Margaret made their escape, Flagg hot on their trail!  
  
FB: Now look what you did! ~storms off~  
  
N: because nothing more could be thought of to write, Frank suddenly was given a wedgie by and invisible force and strung by his underpants on the flagpole.  
  
FB:OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
CF: Get back down here Burns!  
  
N: Colonel Flagg was suddenly hauled up by an invisible force,(the same one that attacked Frank) and was kicked from the 4077th all the way to a mystic island of OOGACHUGA, where he was boiled in a pot by little flagglets that had escaped from bestcareanywhere.net.  
  
PA: ATTENTION ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL THE WAR'S OVER!  
  
N: Everyone laughed and cried, they were free to go home.  
  
HP: Margaret will you marry me?  
  
MH: yes!!  
  
N: and they all lived happily ever after, except for Colonel Flagg who was eaten by flagglets and Frank who was left on the flagpole for 4 years.  
  
~A little flagglet comes up to the camera and holds up a sign~ END 


	3. Behold! The last chapter to a pointless ...

OH4H: I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Thanks for all the reviews guys! Here's the last chapter!  
  
Hawkeye stirred and sat up in his bunk. Where was he, the war was over wasn't it? He threw on his bathrobe and boots and headed to the mess tent. He grabbed a cup of 'coffee' and seeing Margaret, sat down beside her.  
  
"Morning Margaret," he said kissing her cheek. She looked at him shocked.  
  
"What has gotten into you Pierce?!" she demanded, flustered.  
  
"Can't I kiss the woman I love good morning?" Hawkeye asked smiling. Margaret looked at him confused.  
  
"Is this one of your jokes?" Hawkeye looked at her, a little hurt.  
  
"No, what are you talking about?" he said simply.  
  
"I think that rat poison from the still has finally rotted your brain!" she said, sipping her coffee.  
  
"I don't understand you, yesterday you loved me and excepted my proposal, and today you act like nothing ever happened!"  
  
"Nothing happened yesterday, we had no wounded and you slept all day!" she said blushing.  
  
"It was all a dream?" he said  
  
"What was all a dream?" she asked curious.  
  
"Last night, I dreamt that you and I were in love and Frank got beaten and then Flagg and Frank escaped from the mental ward and tried to split us apart, but they were beaten and then we got engaged and the war ended!" Margaret looked at him carefully.  
  
"That was defiantly a strange dream. It sounds kind of like a nightmare."  
  
"No it wasn't a nightmare." Hawkeye said with certainty.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah, it couldn't have been a nightmare. We were in love." He kissed her cheek and walked out the mess tent, with Margaret watching him a hand on her cheek where he had kissed her. 


	4. Behold! I lied! The last last chapter to...

OH4H: k, I lied, I wrote one more chapter but that's it! Disclaimer: idonotownmashorthecharactersallbelongstofoxandihavenomoneyanddontmakemoneyfr omthissodontsue! ~faints~  
  
"Pierce!" Margaret ran out of the mess tent and followed him, he turned around.  
  
"Look major, I'm sorry if I offended you." he was cut off by Margaret.  
  
"Just listen captain! First are you serious?"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About what you said in the mess tent!"  
  
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"You're never serious."  
  
"I never have anything to be serious about."  
  
"Well then I only have one thing to say to you!" Hawkeye braced himself for a sever tong lashing, the kind he got however was not what he thought. Margaret flew into his arms and gave him a passionate kiss.  
  
"What took you so long to say it?" she asked, Hawkeye was dumbstruck and couldn't think of anything to say, so he kissed her again.  
  
"Hawkeye," she said  
  
"What?"  
  
"GET THE HELL UP!" Hawkeye awoke to find himself looking into the sparkling blue eyes of a very angry major.  
  
"What's going on?" he muttered  
  
"You've been asleep for 12 hours! It's time to get up, we have incoming wounded in a few hours."  
  
"Why didn't Beej wake me? Or even Frank?"  
  
"Captain Honeycutt is in Seoul you know that! And Major Burns is in Colonel Potter's office."  
  
"Ok, can you do me a favor?" She regarded him warily.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can you pinch me? I've had some very realistic dreams and I want to make sure that I'm awake." She rolled her eyes and pinched him.  
  
"Ouch! Ok, I'm awake."  
  
"Captain, if you ever kiss me in your sleep again, I'll make you sorry you were ever born!"  
  
"Ok major," Hawkeye said pulling on his robe. On the way out of the swamp Hawkeye grabbed Margaret dipped her, and kissed her.  
  
"You said I couldn't kiss you when I was sleeping, you never said anything about being awake," he grinned walking to Colonel Potter's office, with a flustered Major yelling behind him.  
  
THE END 


End file.
